im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
