Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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