you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His nipple licking is glorious
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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