I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
