Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
