my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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