I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
