hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
