i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
