I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
