Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
