I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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