I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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