End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
