So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
