singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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