And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
