Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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