I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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