It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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