everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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