I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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