As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
