i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I could fuck to npr.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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