Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
