Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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