Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
