My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
