I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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