Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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