we made out on top of his cat.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize