i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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