Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the day after is always just damage control
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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