Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
