Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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