real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
