I like my sex mixed with concussions.
...so i touched it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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