Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize