getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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