I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize