Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
