"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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