coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
