There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
