i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I believe in your delicious
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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