Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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