I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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