its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
