her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
