Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
