; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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