I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
