Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
