I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You can't motorboat a personality
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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