I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my liver is dry heaving
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
