all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
