you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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