did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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