I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
