I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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