It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
