party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
