Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
