How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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