I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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