I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
